When we look at other people around us, it may be easy at times to wonder –  “Why is their life so much better than mine?” We may question why others have the things we desire and why we are less than or inferior in some way. 

An important saying I have heard many times is, “Don’t compare your inside to someone else’s outside.” People put out only what they want others to see, especially in the world of social media. People tend to pick their most flattering pictures, successful life stories, and happy family moments to share. Even if some people do choose to share the less desirable pictures and stories, they are still filtering out what they feel comfortable with or willing to show others. 

When it comes to our inner world and our thoughts and feelings, and the life experiences we face that are out of our control, we don’t have a choice of using a filter. We can’t filter out stressful family situations, the recent fight we had with a loved one, a physical or mental health issue we are coping with, or any other struggles we face. They are right there in front of us and on our minds, constantly. It only adds insult to injury when we are noticing all of our own struggles and perceived shortcomings to then compare ourselves to someone else. And the problem is, if we are comparing our inner experience to the outer appearance of someone else’s life, we will almost always fall short. Someone else will likely seem happier, more together, stronger…you name it. 

The antidote? Try and remind yourself that everyone, literally everyone, has their own struggles and their own battles they are fighting. Everyone feels sadness and anger and hurt and fear. Everyone has an imperfect life and family. And if the comparisons are really weighing you down, stay grounded by staying away from activities that offer opportunities for comparisons and instead turn to people who validate you and share their whole, imperfect selves openly and without filter. Also, try to remember that what feels so obvious to you, like your own struggles and weaknesses, is not necessarily known by others. You too only share what you choose to put out there. 

So today, drop the comparisons. Do something that honors and celebrates your imperfect self exactly how you are and where you are right now. When you are focusing on YOU, there’s no match up to win or lose!