A week ago, we started fostering a dog. He’s had a harder life up until this point, being highly neglected physically and emotionally by his previous owners. Despite this, he is so incredibly loving, and perhaps even more surprisingly, he is unbelievably trusting. His favorite thing to do is curl up in our laps or right beside us, and then flop onto his back and expose his tummy for some belly and chin rubs. As I sat beside him earlier with him on his back, chest open for over an hour, I kept thinking about what a receptive and trusting gesture that is. It’s an act of total surrender and one in which the heart is completely open to receiving.

While stroking his belly and admiring his unguarded nature, I couldn’t help but think of how most people do not operate this way (myself included!) There are so many ways we guard ourselves and our hearts; whether it’s in our physical stance by being hunched forward or with our arms folded in front of our chests, or emotionally by keeping people at a distance. Of course there are so many valid reasons we do this and are only trying to protect ourselves….but at what cost?

One of my favorite quotes from Brene Brown, a social worker and researcher who’s extensively written about topics such as vulnerability and courage, is the following: “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” I see this as such a critical insight into how our actions to protect ourselves simultaneously have the undesirable side-effect of preventing us from the things we likely DO want to feel and experience in life. And in relation to guarding our hearts, when we guard and protect ourselves from pain and disappointment (or whatever else we are afraid of will happen if we lead with an open, unguarded heart), we are also unfortunately blocking out the joy and connection that come with living life with an open heart. Our foster dog risks the possibility of being hurt or disappointed by being vulnerable and submissive, but he gains the ability to love, connect, and receive tons of enjoyable belly rubs!

I know I may be oversimplifying the complex reasons humans protect themselves and make the choices they do to feel most safe in a scary world. At the same time, when I look into our pup’s eyes, I realize how much courage it takes and how much happiness can be obtained from living life with an open heart.