In music, a composition for an individual instrumental audition will often also come with an accompaniment. For example, when I would have an oboe audition, there was usually a piano accompaniment that was written for the piece that would support my main melodic part, would offer my piece some rests, and would enhance the overall musicality of the composition. When there is an accompaniment given in a piece of music, it is meant to be an additive process, making the music better overall. 

I’ve found myself using the word “accompany” more and more in my work lately with my therapy clients. Sometimes when clients are working with their internal parts (think IFS and the movie Inside Out), their parts feel scared, depressed, or ashamed. Other times their parts are furious, defensive, and seemingly unmovable. Regardless of how their parts are surfacing, a common theme is that their parts are having their feelings and their experiences all alone. And it’s the “all alone” that makes it so deeply painful, scary, and isolating for the person and for their parts. 

I love to experiment with language and metaphors and something I have been offering lately is, “Can a sacred space within you offer some accompaniment to that afraid part who is all alone right now?” or “Where within you can you breathe a sense of calm to accompany that grief so it doesn’t have to be all alone?” These are just examples, but the gist is that I’m not suggesting that someone needs to change their feelings or their part’s experience, but rather, that they can bring something new to that place within them to accompany it. It’s really a simple offering, but can be powerful when our parts who have been previously isolated and alone get to experience a new way of being held and met! 

You can do this yourself too. Focus on a part of you that you are having some difficulty with. Notice where you feel it in your body, how it shows up, and what sensations arise as you feel into it. Begin to notice how much space it occupies within you. Is there a color or texture that goes with it? A particular temperature? Does it move or is it static? Whatever quality this part has, just notice it for a few breaths.

And now, what can you bring to this part to accompany it? Can you bring it some light or breath? Perhaps you can send it some calm or a word of affirmation it would find comforting? You don’t need this part to change or move in any way. You are simply bringing something new to this part to join it, so that it doesn’t have to be alone, and so that it can possibly have an enhanced experience in this new accompaniment!