Nothing is ruined
About 5 years ago I started meditating regularly. I was a new parent and wanted to create space for myself every day, even if it was only for a few minutes. I started using an app to meditate and tried to make it a daily routine, though of course missed days (sometimes even weeks) here and there.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I was at a 251 day meditation streak. Whether it was 3 minutes, 5 minutes, or 10-20 minutes, it was something I had done every day for the better half of a year. I was proud that even with different challenges that came up over the past several months, I stuck with it. Then I had two major losses. And just like that, I missed a day. And then two. And then three. I didn’t even want to open the app to see the counter starting over.
My first thought was that I’ve failed, quickly followed by the sweeping generalization that “everything is ruined.” Sounds dramatic, I know, but when faced with back to back highly stressful situations and on next to no sleep for a couple of weeks, that’s what came to mind.
As I’ve taken a step back from this, though, I’ve realized that not only is that belief probably not true, but it also really isn’t at all the point of meditation. While it’s great to set goals for yourself to meditate, the practice of meditating isn’t about achievement or failure. It’s not about reaching a destination. Meditation is about being present and tuning into the here and now. I am trying to be gentler with myself now and realize I was in fact doing that even if I wasn’t using my meditation app. I was present by being tuned into what was happening around me, by taking time to journal, and by talking to my family and friends. Would it have been beneficial if I kept meditating during those days? Quite possibly. But the point is I didn’t and I can’t go back and change it.
Rather than get too bogged down by my lapse, I decided to show myself some compassion for this totally understandable hiatus, and start again. I am 4 days in to my new streak. And nothing is ruined.
3 thoughts on “Nothing is ruined”
251 days!? That’s AMAZING!!! And inspiring! This won’t be a surprise to you – if I started missing days after that long streak I, too, would have thought ‘everything is ruined’. I go to the exact same place when it’s happening to “me”. But, interestingly, my first thought after reading how YOU started to miss days was immediately- ‘Not a big deal because she’s done it before so she can definitely do it again!!’ While thinking for myself it sounds like an impossible feat. But I’m going to choose to you this, use YOU, as inspiration. I love that you mentioned even 3 minutes a day of meditation- that matters! I have a tendency to tell myself things like, “If I don’t meditate for at least 10 mins then it doesn’t count” or “If I don’t workout for at least 30 mins then it doesn’t count”. When, on the contrary, even 10 mins of yoga a day is better than none- like 3 mins of meditation. Thank you for this. I was just about to start my workout but, first, I’m going to slow back into meditation and give myself 3 minutes. 💗
I love this and love you, Michele. Thanks for sharing and inspiring others.
Yes yes yes! I echo everything you wrote (and Jamie’s response) so eloquently above. My first thought was that 251 days is AMAZING! but I can also totally relate to that feeling of “breaking the streak” as “ruining everything”. I too this year have made so many efforts to integrate healthy behaviors into my life on a regular basis and then feel discouraged when I miss a day (or a few…). I am going to work on reminding myself about the big picture and that every little bit really does make a difference!