These are words I regularly need to remind myself. Asking for help and support can be very difficult for me, which is ironic given that so much of my career has been spent helping others and encouraging people to ask for the help they need. Yet when it comes to me, it is almost as if I feel I have to give myself permission. The more I sit with this, though, the more I realize that not only is it okay to ask for support, but it is actually quite important, especially in times that are challenging. 

One recent occurrence that strengthened this idea for me was observing people rock climbing at the gym. Rock climbing used to be a major hobby for me and my husband. When rock climbing, a person will typically start with what is called top rope climbing, where the rope is secured to two people — the person who is climbing the wall and another person (the belayer) who is taking up the slack in the rope as the climber climbs. In contrast, in other types of climbing, like lead climbing or bouldering, the climber will either take up their own slack or is not harnessed in at all. These types of climbing are for more experienced climbers and involve even more risk. In the beginning stages of climbing, it is really important not to do it all on your own. You need someone there to support you. Every time you take a step up, someone pulls up the slack, so that if you fall, it won’t be a big fall and you minimize your chances of getting hurt. As you’re gaining your footing, quite literally, in the sport, you want to have a lot of help. And even in the more advanced types of climbing, you typically have someone nearby to spot you or be there for help if needed. While it is a challenging and daring activity that takes courage, it is also one that you should do with some sort of support. 

I used to think that if I ask for help or support then I am not accomplishing things on my own. But when I think of climbing, I realize that, even with a person taking up the slack, I am still the one doing the climb. I am the one daring to take steps forward, doing risky leaps, and using my strength to pull myself up with each step. The belayer is there to support the journey. And that’s what support is supposed to be for– not to do the hard work for us, not to take away from our own journeys, but rather, to offer assistance when needed to allow us to reach our highest potential.